Mom & Pop's Salsa and Guacamole

People like to say SALSA!

Salsa:
6 roma tomatoes, peeled, cored and seeded, finely chopped
1/4 red onion, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
2 jalapenos, finely chopped; remove seeds from one and keep seeds of other
1 lime, juiced
1/2 tsp each ground black pepper, paprika
1/4 tsp each chili powder, salt, cumin

Directions: Mix and chill.

Guac:
4 avacados, peeled and pitted
1/4 red onion, finely chopped
2 roma tomatoes, peeled, cored and seeded, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
2 jalapenos, finely chopped; remove seeds from one and keep seeds of other
1 lime, juiced
1/4 t each ground black pepper, salt, cumin, chili powder

Directions: Mix and chill.

Tip: Cover guac with plastic wrap pressed securely over the guac itself and then cover the bowl with another piece of plastic wrap.  This keeps the guac from turning brown.

Mom & Pop's Succulent Smoked Jerk Chicken

This is legitimately the best jerk chicken recipe you will ever eat.  I recommend getting insanely stoned beforehand to get the true Rastafarian experience.

Jerk Marinade (see below)
Whole free-range chicken 4-6 lbs, cut into pieces, skin on.

Directions:
1. Score chicken all over.
2. Pour marinade over chicken and rub thoroughly.
3. Marinate 24 hours.

4. Preheat grill to 250 degrees, leaving one burner off.
5. Wrap a couple of chunks of apple or maple wood in aluminum foil and stick under grates of direct heat.
6. Place chicken on grill over indirect heat (part of grill that is off) with dark meat closest to direct heat.
7. Cover and let roast for 2 hours.  Make sure to keep temperature between 250-275 degrees.

Jerk Marinade:
1 yellow onion, roughly chooped
1 bunch scallions, roughly chopped
1 jalapeno, roughly chopped, w/ seeds
1 1-inch piece of ginger, roughly chopped
10 sprigs fresh thyme
10 cloves garlic, roughly chopped

1/4 C brown suger
2 tsp allspice
1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
1/2 tsp each ground cinnamon, ground corriander, cayenne, ground nutmeg

1/4 C soy sauce
3 limes, juiced
1/4 C extra virgin olive oil

Directions: Throw everything except olive oil into a blender and blend.  Once blended, add olive oil and emulsify.

Mom & Pop's Gazpacho

Gazpacho?! Go back to Russia!

2 c tomato juice (prefer RW Knudsen)

¼ c cilantro

½ yellow onion

1 stick celery

½ cucumber, seeded and peeled

2 cloves garlic

½ lime, juiced

2 jalapenos, seeds of 1 reserved

Black pepper

3 T olive oil

Directions: 

1. Blend everything but olive oil in 6-8 3-second pulses.

2. With blender running on low, add olive oil.

3. Chill and enjoy.

Mom & Pop's Turkish Chicken Kabobs

2 lbs chicken breast, cut into large chunks

Marinade:

1 onion, peeled and thickly sliced

4 cloves garlic, peeled, crushed and chopped

2 t salt

1 tsp ground black pepper

½ C fresh lemon juice

½  tsp ground cumin

1  tsp dried oregano

3 T extra virgin olive oil

1 cup plain whole-milk greek style yogurt (8ozs)

2 T tomato paste

2 t crushed red pepper + 2 t paprika (mixed in 1 T warm water to form paste)

Directions: Mix all ingredients and pour over chicken and into plastic bag.  Refridgerate 2 hours.

Tip: Remove as much air as possible from plastic bag to increase marinade efficiency.

Baste:

½ C melted butter

2 T lemon juice

½ tsp black pepper

½ tsp oregano

Directions: Mix together and keep warm on stove.

Kabob Directions:

1. Preheat grill to medium.

2. Remove chicken from marinade and skewer (leave a little space between each piece of chicken)

3. Grill 4-6 minutes per side or until done.

4. Serve over dill rice

Mom & Pop's Monster Jambalaya

3 T olive oil

2 onions

½ red bell pepper

1 green bell pepper

6 cloves garlic

1 28-oz can whole tomatoes (juices reserved), crushed by hand

½ c celery

1 lb shrimp

½ lb chicken thigh

½ lb andouille

2 ½ C rice

2 C chicken stock

1 T Worcestershire

½ t red pepper, black pepper, white pepper

3 T paprika

1 tsp dried thyme

1 bay leaf

¼ c parsley

Season chicken liberally with salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder and brown in olive oil over medium high heat with sausage too for about 7 minutes.  Remove chicken and sausage and set aside.

Add onions, celery, peppers and garlic and sauté 10 minutes.

Add back meats, stir in chicken stock, tomatoes and add seasoning.  Bring to boil.

Add rice and return to boil.  Cover and reduce heat to simmer.  Cook 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes, stir completely and replace cover.  Cook additional 15-20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. 

Add shrimp and extra liquid (if needed) and cook 5 minutes.          

Mom & Pop's Homemade Ketchup

Whether you prefer ketchup or catsup, you'll definitely prefer this version to the store-bought crap.

1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes
1 small white onion, finely diced
1 jalapeno, seeded and finely diced
1/4 C brown sugar
1/2 tsp each garlic powder, ground dried mustard, ground ginger
1/4 tsp each salt, ground black pepper,
1/8 tsp each ground allspice, ground cloves, cayenne, crushed red pepper, cinnamon

1/4 C cider vinegar

Directions:
1. Heat 1 T olive oil in saucepan over medium-high heat.
2. Saute onions and peppers for 4 minutes.
3. Combine all ingredients other than vinegar, bring to boil.
4. Reduce heat to simmer and simmer 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
5. Add vinegar and continue simmering additional 30 minutes.
6. Let cool and refrigerate.

Mom & Pop's Not Terrible Turkey Burgers

2/3 lb ground white meat turkey
1/3 lb ground dark meat turkey

1/4 C homemade ketchup (see Mom & Pop's recipe)
1/4 C dried breadcrumbs
1 egg
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
2 T finely chopped parsley

Directions:
1. Mix all ingredients in a bowl.
2. Shape into patties and refrigerate.

3. Preheat grill on medium-low (400-425 degrees)
4. Grill burgers, flipping every 4 minutes (total grill time of 12 minutes)

5. Serve with reserved homemade ketchup.


Tip: Don't use store-bought breadcrumbs.  Make your own by letting a 1/4 loaf of French bread sit out overnight and then pulse finely in a food processor.

Mom & Pop's Braised and Shredded Pot Roast Tacos

This is seriously one of the tastiest recipes we have ever created.  And who doesn't love tacos!?

3 lbs chuck roast, trimmed of large pockets of fat and cut into 3-inch chunks
salt and pepper

2 oranges, juiced and body reserved
3 limes, juiced and body reserved
2 jalapenos, seeded and quartered
5 cloves garlic, mashed and diced
1 large yellow onion, sliced
2 bay leaves
1 28-oz can diced tomatoes
1 c beef stock

1 small white onion, finely diced
1 bunch cilantro, finely chopped
1 package corn tortillas

Directions:
1.  Pat roast pieces dry with paper towels.
2. Sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper.

3. Heat 2 T olive oil in dutch oven over medium-high heat until just before smoking.
4. Lay roast pieces (with space between to avoid steaming) in pot; brown on each side 4 minutes (or until crust develops).

5. Add all ingredients back to pot, cover and place in oven for 2 1/2 hours, stirring every 45 minutes or so.

6. Remove beaf to plate to cool.
7. Remove limes and oranges.  Strain remaining sauce, pressing through juices and pulp.
8. Place strained sauce into sauce pan and simmer additional hour or until reduced and thick.  Skim fat from top every 15 minutes.

9. Shred beef with two forks.  Mix with 1 C reduced sauce.

10. Serve with corn tortillas, chopped white onion and chopped cilantro.

Tip: Create restaurant-quality hot corn tortillas by wrapping stack of store-bought corn tortillas in wetted paper towel; microwave for 60 seconds.

Mom & Pop's Hang-Over Busting Bloody Mary Mix

Ok, maybe it hasn't actually won an award, but I would be willing to put this concoction up against any bloody mary mix out there. 

1 quart tomato juice (prefer RW Knudsen)

2 T pickle juice (prefer Bubbies)

2T prepared horseradish (prefer Bubbies)

1 tsp celery salt

1 ½ tsp ground black pepper

1 garlic clove (crushed/pressed)

1 lemon (juiced)

¼ C Worcestershire

7-10 shakes Tabasco

Poor out 1/2 c of tomato juice.  Add everything into bottle.  Add back as much tomato juice as you can.  Close bottle and shake vigorously.

Serve over crushed ice and premium vodka. 

Mom & Pop's Game Day Beer Soaked Brats

Brats! Get your brats here!

1 package Johnsonville brats
3 bottles High Life
1 vidalia onion, sliced
2 cloves garlic, smashed and diced

Throw everything into an aluminum baking tin onto a grill set to medium.  Let brats soak and boil for about an hour.  Transfer brats to grill grates and grill 3 minutes per side.

Serve with the beer-soaked onions on a toasted brat bun.

Bon appetite